First, let us define what “change” is. What is “change?” A person’s definition of change varies depending on one’s age. A young person perceives change as a part of growing up — change of height, appearance of hair growth, change of voice. But later in life, a person builds a clearer idea of one’s self. The concept of change then develops. He or she then sees it as a need to adapt. Personality changes happen based on one’s social dealings and confronting situations. However, a person should not allow change unless he or she agrees to it. There must be a personal examination of how one values his or her own self and the situation that requires one to change.
There is actually no need for someone to project a perfect personality. It is pointless. People should accept you for who you are.
What are the reasons for resisting change?
The Fear of Change
Sometimes situations and other people may impose change upon others. A person has the right to assess and challenge the change that he wants for himself. Not everyone favors change. To some, change is not welcome because they don’t see a need for it. There should be a stimulus to motivate a person to change.
Some people are just too proud to change. This is why new concepts and ideas are better absorbed by younger minds. As people age they become more resistant to changing their belief system—some to the point of bigotry until death.
Any form of change is stressful and can be confusing.
This is one of the main reasons why change can’t be done. Not all can cope with change. People have different levels of abilities to adapt. Change is most critical during the teenage years. They get confused with the many changes that are happening in their lives. For instance, they may get reprimanded for doing things they are too young to do and for not doing things that they are supposed to because they are old enough.
Family influences change.
A person raised in an unhappy family will understandably seek stability upon reaching adulthood. On the other hand, someone who grew up in a stable family environment will more likely seek change.
Our values are primarily setup by our parents and change when we interact with other people. If we could discern, we know which values to keep. For instance, we all know that we are expected to be honest; but if dishonesty, lying, or pretense is openly practiced in a family, those family “values” still adhere to a person’s character because it is already set up, both subconsciously and consciously beginning from the formative years of a person. Oftentimes, only a traumatic experience can change a person.
Habit is more comfortable.
Because humans are creatures of habit, “we get used to being a certain way, even if it doesn’t work very well,” say Jack Canfield and Mark Victor Hansen in their book, The Alladin Factor.
They add, “Many of the things that are required to build and maintain high self-esteem may sometimes be uncomfortable.”
Now that we have identified what makes change so difficult, hopefully we can assess ourselves and situations easier when faced with a challenge to change something within us and around us. Are the factors really life threatening, or are they just superficial?
© 2010 Athena Goodlight